Joan Thomson McCrossan Nee Mitchell

"God's gift sent from above. A real unselfish love. I found in my mother's eyes"
Joan McCrossan.
Walked through Heaven's Gates - 14th January 2007.
72 years old.
Housewife/Mother
Kirkcaldy,
Left behind 2 heartbroken & devastated daughters, and 4 sons.
12 grandchildren, 4 greatgrandchildren.
Passed on with dementia.

The moment that you died,
My heart split in two.
The one side filled with memories,
The other died with you.
I often lay awake at night,
When the world is fast asleep;
And take a walk down memory lane,
With tears upon my cheeks.

☆¸.•*´☆¸.•*´☆¸.•*´☆¸.•*´☆¸.•*´☆
* MY * PRECIOUS * MOTHER *
☆¸.•*´☆¸.•*´☆¸.•*´☆¸.•*´☆¸.•*´☆


I miss you so much mum and wonder, if the pain will ever go away. You were everything to me. xox

My mother was loving, caring and understanding. But most of all, she was completely devoted all her children (9). She lost her first baby, through cot death, and right up until 4 days before she passed, she always spoke of him. Being a mother myself, I can only imagine the heartbreak she suffered. But she was a strong person, a fighter. Even though she probably suffered in silence. She didn't have the easiest life, but we never went without, we were always clean and never went hungry, because of her love for us, we always came first. She asked nothing, of nobody. And because of this, I grew to respect my mother, more than any other person I've known, she was my idol. All that I am today, is thanks to her alone. My granny Mitchell knocked on Heaven's door 19 years ago. (Also through dementia) And I know that she missed her mother, probably as much as I miss her now. The pain is hard to describe. The impact of realizing I'll never see her, or hear her amazing voice again hurts, more than anything I could ever imagine. Then, sadly her only brother Peter died the following year. My mother was visiting Lourdes at the time (a life ambition) then came home to the sad news. It probably seemed, that if she was ever given a treat, or dared to be happy, then she'd be punished for it, so she'd feel she didn't deserve to be happy. But trust me, of all the people in the world, my mother did deserve to be happy. Then, 12 years ago my oldest brother, Billy took the hand of an angel too (aged 37). This was one of the most devastating things, to happen to me. It felt like someone punched their fist, through my chest and ripped my heart out! But he is someone, who also had a tough time in life, but he was kind & gentle and he had a heart of gold, very much like my mother, so alot of her attributes, obviously rubbed off on Billy. It has only been the past 4 years, that I have been able to let this pain go. But, if that's how I felt as his sister, how did my poor mother feel? 10 weeks later, my dad died with a heart attack. He was always in poor health, and although we knew he did not have a long life, it was still a shock. He had only just had his 60th birthday. Then there was more pain to come, because 2 years later, her much loved and favourite sister Mary, gained her angel wings. They hadn't seen each other for many years, but kept in touch as often as was allowed, and always spoke very fondly of each other, as they were close growing up, so there was a very strong bond, no matter how far apart they were, from each other. How much pain can one heart take? But through all this, my mother still battled on. Where she found the strength, I'll never know. But I know she did this, because of her love for us, her children. Because her main role in life, was to be a mother. And I can assure you, she was the best. I thank God she was my mother. About 5 years ago, she started to get forgetful, I just put it down to old age, but 2 years later, she was forgetting the simplest of things. It was then that I realized, I wasn't going to have my mum for much longer, I could feel her slip away, day by day. I'd cry and still do, when I remember how she wasted away, right in front of me, day by day. I used to care for her and make everything alright, the way she did for me, but then it was impossible, I felt completely helpless, because I knew no matter how hard I tried, there was no way of reversing the damage this disease had caused. Why do these things happen? Why my beautiful and loving mum? Losing my mother, has left a void in my life, and I can't see me getting past this, ever. My mother was a very unselfish woman, who would do anything in her power, to make someone happy. She appreciated the simplest of things, little things like going for a meal, was a massive treat. Something that other people just take for granted. She was quite content, watching her favourite programmes, or dvd's. Or reading a book, or doing crossword puzzles. She never felt the need, to have a break from us. My mother was everything to me. Even though dementia robbed me of my mum and I knew she'd forget everything we spoke of, I still told her everything, as usual. Even got her advice on things. And as always, it was spot on. With so much evil surrounding us and just plain badness, why is it always the good? I suppose it's true, God only takes the best! And this was my mother. But the way I feel now, it's little consolation to me. I know it's selfish and probably sounds really childish, for a grown woman. But, I want my mum. All that I am, and all that I'll ever be, is thanks to my mother. Now she has her wee doggy back, Lucky joined her on 3rd May 2008 the day after mum would've been 74. She'll be so happy to meet up again, she was a gentle wee soul (my wee cookie and the bestest wee woof woof, up the High Blocks) I miss them both every single day, and hope that wherever they are, they are being spoiled and pampered, the way they deserved to be, here on earth. I'm so proud to say they were my mother, and dog and faithful friend. Joe's joined them today, 27th September 2009. He's left us in a sorry mess. A poor soul, who had nothing, but who was happy with his lot. I love you Joe. She loved me all her life, I will love her the rest of mine. R.I.P. mum & Lucky. And now your sister Doreen has joined you, today, Sunday 5th September. Until the day that we're together once more. xox